The number of children in the family directly affects the state of mental development of each member. Whether as a father, mother or child has a distinctive and unique dynamic.
For this case, we discuss families with single children. Alex is 7 years old, he has no siblings because both parents decided not to have any more children. Alex lives with his father, mother, grandmother, and maid. When the father and mother work Alex is at home with his grandmother and the helper who takes care of him. Every morning when he goes to school, Alex always asks his father to take him. But when his father left him, he didn’t want to. Alex wants his father to stay outside the classroom until he finishes school. Alex’s request could not be fulfilled by his father because he had to leave for work immediately after dropping X’s child at school. Because Alex’s request is not fulfilled, he often experiences tantrums before finally entering the classroom.
How do parents find out why their child likes to cry?To help parents find the cause of tantrums in their children. We do a holistic psychological observation. To get information from Alex, his father, and his mother. The results of observations of Alex are as follows;
Alex is bored at school because there are no friends who can understand it. Alex prefers to be at home because some grandmothers and maids always fulfill all his wishes. Alex has a dominant relationship with his mother. For her mother has fulfilled all her wishes. There are two mothers here, the first is the biological mother and the second is the grandmother. Alex is very close to his two mothers so he tends to always want to be by his side. This intense closeness turned out to be unfinished and mature. Alex sees the father figure as a less dominant figure for him because the father’s role is less active in nurturing and fulfilling his wishes.
The attitude of Alex crying before entering class and asking to be waited on is a way that is shown to ask for attention and help from his parents. In addition, it can be seen that there is a need for affection or a feeling of wanting to be loved that must be met by parents, especially their mothers. This indicates that there is a condition of Alex’s relationship with his mother that is so strongly intertwined that it is difficult to let go because there is no maturity of affection. In addition, Alex has a behavioral tendency to use the same way to manipulate parents to comply with their wishes. There are also indications that Alex avoids going to school because he expects help from adults or his mother to complete school assignments. The mental condition of Alex is caused by the absence of competition or competition with siblings or children his age. All family members are adults who can understand Alex and can obey his wishes.
What should a whiny single-child parent do?Parents need to work together with grandmothers and assistants to convey directly so that they do not always obey the wishes Alex. So when the adults at home have agreed to discipline Alex then no one should help Alex with the excuse of pity, can’t bear it, or to get the job done quickly. All adults at home agree to act the same so that Alex is disciplined in completing his duties as a form of independence and responsibility. Parents need to maintain and develop the potential of Alex who is already good. Parents, especially mothers, must maintain relationships that are no longer too close but must be prepared to mature immediately so that Alex can be independent. If all the conditions given by parents at home can be carried out by Alex well, then immediately give a positive reward to Alex. Positive rewards are not always in the form of material or money but can be in the form of warm words and give encouragement to Alex. The more solid the cooperation of family members, the better. both Alex can soon mature and be independent.
Note; Alex is the pseudonym