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Impact of Unfulfilled Affection Needs on Children


Children’s developmental needs are very diverse. As parents, we must meet these needs as well as possible. But there are still many families who have not been able to meet the needs of affection in their children. If the problem of malnutrition occurs in less able families. In contrast to the problem of infection fog, almost all families have experienced it, both able families and families who are less able.

In this case, we will learn from Alex who has the behavior like to disturb his friend. He was very happy to prank and joke excessively with his friends. Even joking with friends is very unusual. Alex likes to push a friend who is walking until he falls and then left with a laugh. Alex has a habit of playing chases with his friends until caught if he cannot be caught, he will be angry. Alex also has a habit of treating his friends by borrowing money from his friends. If he doesn’t want to give money to Alex, he will tempt his friend to tears. Alex did this to earn money. Alex is very famous in the third grade because of his habit. Almost all children know Alex, ranging from grade A to H many children who become friends as well as victims. The total amount of money Alex had collected from asking for his friend’s meeting was approximately fifty thousand rupiahs. After getting the money he used it directly to treat his friends to buy snacks, eat and drink at the canteen.

Alex’s behavior eventually became known to his teachers and parents as they found a lot of snacks and the rest of the money was in Alex’s bag. After being confirmed directly to Alex the incident has indeed been done by Alex several times.

How did Alex’s behavior of asking for money come about?

After making psychological observations obtained some information and data as follows;

Since the age of 2.5 years, Alex left his father (died while on duty). Alex was then entrusted with his aunt in Surabaya because his mother had to work in Jakarta. During his life with his aunt, Alex was nurtured by his maid. Several times Alex’s nanny changed because it was not strong. This condition also makes his aunt feel confused to take care of Alex. But because he felt sorry, Alex was still being treated. Aunt asks Alex’s mother to see Alex even though it’s only once every six months during the school holidays.

When at home, Alex is usually alone. He never played with his cousin (aunt’s son). All activities at home are done alone without the help of others. After activities throughout the day, Alex is also used to sleeping alone accompanied by a TV show. Until fast asleep in front of the television.

When Alex attended 3rd-grade school, Alex’s family did not change much. Alex remains independent with his aunt. Alex is used to living without his parents. To fulfill the need for love, Alex seeks attention from friends, teachers, janitors, security officers, shuttle drivers, and everyone who is in school. At this school, Alex feels able to get the attention of many people who have not been able to get at home.

This unfulfilled affection need makes Alex take several actions so that he gets the attention of friends at his school. By buying free food and drinks for all his friends, Alex feels he is getting the attention he needs. Although how to get it with the wrong behavior.

How do we help Alex’s needs?

To help Alex, we approach persuasively by speaking from heart to heart. We touched his heart so that Alex felt calm and happy. As parents or therapists, we can provide treatment to Alex by meeting the appropriate affection needs. We can condition the people around Alex to understand what happened to Alex. We can also position ourselves to be parents as well as friends for Alex. We also convey to people who live at home with Alex, such as aunt, uncle, cousins, and aides to pay attention to Alex. If the need for affection has been obtained and fulfilled, then Alex’s behavior that likes to seek attention while in school will be reduced and disappear by itself.

Therefore, if we still have a father, mother, child, and family, then use the time as much as possible to give attention to each other, give affection in the best way possible. So that the affection needs of all family members are fulfilled.

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